I Guess. I am. Still. a Mourner. (Thirty days since Dad Died)

Warm tears running down my face
Invade my sacred space
Putting me back in my place
Reminding me:
I’m a mourner

And my shoulders when they tremble
Cause me to disassemble
Piercing through the edifice I assemble
To face the truth:
I’m a mourner

Then the welling up within my chest
Speaks even louder than the rest
Explaining why I’m not always my best
Because:
I’m a mourner

Oh, we try to move so fast
We so desperately want to get past
This pain, we hope it won’t last
Who am I kidding?
I’m a mourner

<< Who would’ve thought I needed reminders? >>

Modim anachnu lach
I give thanks
For unanticipated admissions
Defying my presuppositions
Forcing me to embrace new definitions
About who I am:

I am.
Still.
A Mourner.

Rabbi Paul Kipnes