Low level sadness, under the surface
Why do you taunt me so?
Just let go of your fears
Come as a flood of warm tears
So I can finally just get up and go
Low level sadness, why are you there?
Why can’t you just let me be?
I’ve got so much to do
To accomplish without you
Please just move out and let me go free.
Low level sadness, under the surface
How long will you reside in my head?
My day seems just fine
Until you intentionally redesign (it)
Reminding me daddy is dead
Low level sadness, I like you much better
Than melancholy who once lived in my heart
You’re not a bad guy
But can’t you please go bye-bye
So that I can enjoy a fresh start?!
Low level sadness, I need you no longer
I’m tired of denial and anger and regret
As death’s stolen (some of) my thunder
And my heart’s still torn asunder
Do you think that I’d really forget?
Isn’t a month quite enough, to feel all the stuff?
Low level sadness, stop planting your seeds
Be gone, let me go,
I’m so done with this show
What more does this mourner really need?
**Shloshim refers to the 30 days after the funeral when a mourner slowly expands the place within the community
Explore more poetry about mourning Papa (my dad, Ken Kipnes).
Watch my videos about mourning
Enjoy more of my spoken word poetry
Rabbi Paul, I’m reluctant to inform you that “low level sadness” will last much longer than Shloshim. It will rear its ugly head when you are least expecting. Gradually, its sharp edges will be rounded, a little softer, but still there. Very slowly after much time has past this feeling will fade, bringing relief as you resume your normal and fulfilling life.