The Secret Life of the Mourner

There is a secret life of the mourner That most people just don’t see There is a secret life of a mourner Hidden, complex, and now, me On the outside we’re powering through On the outside we seem sad but fine On the outside we conquer the world But the outside world is not mine Because, There is a rip in the fabric of time A voice no longer whispering in my ear A brokenness amidst the apparent wholeness Rubbing against the desire to care There is a secret life of the mourner Filled with sadness, incredulity, and wonder That counts the days since death and the burial That tries to get through them with nary a blunder On the inside we’re tired of this mourning So everyone else surely must be too We dare not look in the mirror For we worry what we see, so will you There is a secret life of the mourner It being ragged, disheveled, and raw A roller coaster of thoughts and emotions We are okay, no we’re not, yes we are   **Shloshim refers to the 30 days after the funeral when a mourner slowly expands the place within the community

Explore more poetry about mourning Papa (my dad, Ken Kipnes). Watch my videos about mourning Enjoy more of my spoken word poetry