A Rabbi and a Priest Walk Into...a Conversation About Grief

Where is God when life hurts?

Recently, a rabbi and an Anglican priest walked into a … conversation and took that question on together at Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas.

Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Father Ross Porter of All Souls Anglican Church opened their three-part interfaith series, "Rabbi and Priest Talk About Matters of the Soul," with "Hurts So Good? Grief and Suffering," exploring what Judaism and Christianity teach about loss. It felt like the beginning of something significant. Two faiths, led by two personable clergy, in conversation. The caring and respect was evident.

The room was a mix of Or Ami Jews and Jewish families and Christians from Father Ross's congregation. Both clergy told stories of their own grief. Father Ross spoke about the birth of his son, who was born with Down syndrome, and what that meant for his faith. Rabbi Paul spoke about Jennifer, a beloved congregant and young mother who had beaten cancer, or so everyone thought. Weeks before her daughter's Bat Mitzvah, she learned she was sick again. She died days after the simcha.

We talked about why good people suffer, and how we move through grief without letting it define us. We explored Christian and Jewish theology, theodicy, where each clergy member finds strength and solace, and how each holds on to hope. Along the way we laughed as the two teased each other about how often their outlooks and values matched, and we smiled at the friendship that showed even when they pushed each other on an answer.

Days later, people are still talking about it. Marsha Rothpan told us the conversation stayed with her: "Exploring grief and suffering through an interfaith lens was eye-opening. Even when perspectives from both Rabbi Paul and Father Porter challenged my own beliefs and the conversation was at times uncomfortable, experiencing this in a safe, intentional community was deeply meaningful. I'm still thinking about the evening."

Marcy Cameron was drawn to the series because she does a lot of soul searching about grief, suffering, and God, and she's always curious to hear other thoughts. She wrote: "Father Ross is so personable. He speaks thoughtfully and with a caring heart. We all experience grief, we all experience some suffering. I came away from the evening with a reinforced knowledge that our similarities are so much greater than our differences."

Missed it? Watch the video.

Join us for Session Two: Wednesday, October 21, 7:00 to 8:30 pm PDT, in person or at oramiLIVE.com. "The Devil Made Me Do It: Forgiveness" asks why we hurt one another, what it really means to forgive, and what Judaism and Christianity teach about sin, repentance, responsibility, and starting again.

Session Three, on October 28, takes on "What Happens After I Die?" Come for one session or all three.

RSVP here.