A Statistically Accurate, Methodologically Sound Top 50 Rabbis List

Last fall, three self-appointed bozos tried to do to the Jewish world what VH1 and others do to the world of entertainment: insert ridiculous standards of measurement create a circus, er, a Top 50 Rabbis list. So Sony Pictures CEO and Chairman Michael Lynton got together with his good friends and fellow power brokers Gary Ginsberg, of Newscorp., and Jay Sanderson, of JTN Productions and started working on a list of the 50 most influential rabbis in America. Their (un)representative work was published in Newsweek magazine. When I speak to my colleagues, I assure them that they must have been Number 51. On our Rabbinical listserve, I posted the following:

I was very excited about the top 50 Rabbis list until I read it and realized that a typographical error left me off the list. That said, top 50 lists tell us more about the people writing them than the people listed on them.Seriously though, in the aftermath of the list's publication, I conducted a statistically accurate, methodologically sound survey of thoughtful and totally objective Jews around the country. I asked them one simple question: "Who are the top 5 rabbis in the United States of America today?" After joking that it must be "their childhood rabbi," each (to the one) listed only one name.Lest you think I am skewing the results, I give you the raw data: who I asked and what they said.My Mom: You son.My Dad: You son.My Deceased Grandparents: Paul KipnesMy Sister (who owes me some money still): You PaulMy Son (who wants a new Ipod): You dad.The Couple Whose Wedding I will officiate at next month: You RabbiThe Kid whose Bar mitzvah service is this weekend: You RabbiMy Wife: Your friend Ron Stern (She, of course, is not objective, so I threw out herresponse.)Did the other group give you their raw data? I think not. You decide. Or better yet, conduct your own survey. I'm sure if it is as objective as mine, you will find the results to be equally satisfying...