It’s Surreal, Seeking Something after Rabbi Aaron Panken’s death

It’s Surreal: A Spoken Word Commentary

A plane goes down A life’s snuffed out And we’re left wondering why. Shall we blame God, As an existential fraud, Who made my friend drop out of the sky? Or did the rudder crack? The engine clog? Was there a problem with just one brake? Did the wind suddenly gust? Or was it just A fluke accident? A tragic mistake? We stop to reflect If he did fully inspect The plane’s systems, flaps, and its wings, We need a good reason At this year-ending season To make sense of this horrible thing. Baruch Dayan Emet, Some will say, Meaning that God surely must have had a plan. But this my mind can’t download As my heart wants to explode Where’s the sense taking this clergyman? Did God need a chacham, A mensch par excellence, To lead the Yeshiva shel Maala? But with scholars enough From the Shoah and such, Why take us all to the funeral parlor? God, I’m putting you on notice - Don’t think I didn’t notice - (As I sit down to have me a scotch) That there’s got to be some way, To figure out what to say. How this happened during Your watch. Nope, we don’t have to believe As we struggle to grieve That the Holy One works just like this. Still I’m being quite serious, Why does the world feel so mysterious? Why are we left here just to reminisce? It is just so surreal I don’t know what to feel God dammit! This, did You really intend? He was vibrant and brilliant Visionary teacher, who made us resilient He was my classmate, my buddy, my friend. Isaac Luria was clear We should have nothing to fear From broken vessels, shvirat hakeilim This collateral damage In a broken world, can be managed If the sparks we work hard to redeem. Yet with hearts just so broken With minds feeling like tokin’, Just how will we one day get through? Day by day, slowly but surely As we place prematurely Our hearts in a basket of woven scar tissue. So goodbye, dear young friend It hurts that this is the end Know we’ll live through this incomprehensible insanity. Goodbye to you and your positivity L’hit to your brilliance and sensitivity And shalom to your beautiful humanity. —