Lazy Mourning Morning

I’m lying in bed, letting the morning laze by

And the mourning is lazy now too I haven’t been crying, And not really sad But I am still thinking about you What does it mean That I’m not tied up in pain That I walk through the day relatively fine? I’d like to think I’m not denying, I’m just not heavily sighing I’m being real so there’s no cause to whine ‘Course I’m in the midst of my prep For the High Holy Days Trying to be proactive and not overwhelmed til I scream So I’m editing my sermons And maintaining a laser sharp focus On these approaching Yamim Noraim Is it terrible then That sometimes I forget Or that I have long periods that I’m not lost in my loss? I like the idea that I’m real That I’m in touch with how I feel That my mourning has not become my boss Breathe out and breathe in Garbled emotions ain’t no sin Nor is an emotional holding pattern like right now I’ll stay alert, ride each wave For to this mourning I’m still enslaved I’ll take it as it comes, and be open. Somehow.  

Explore more poetry about mourning Papa (my dad, Ken Kipnes).

Watch my videos about mourning

Enjoy more of my spoken word poetry