Shloshim’s Theological Wanderings (or) Asking the Questions I’m Not Ready to Ask

Are you really gone? I ask his picture And where did you go? That’s a question for Scripture And why are you gone? Hmm, that one’s the clincher --- I know you are gone And we’re left behind Though its painful and sad To this truth I’m resigned But this reality leaves me In a theological bind As I try to reconcile My heart and my mind Yes I love talking God To divine what is true Yet I’m not seeking answers I’ve read so many, there’s nothing new But I ask, then I don’t Lest my reticence is misconstrued But I’m not really ready To ponder about YOU Of course I wonder where you went (I know that here, you are not) Yet right at this moment There’s little comfort to be wrought From rushing into theology That’s what I teach and have been taught But those questions keep coming And here’s the upshot: Are you at peace? Is there no pain? Does that painless existence Feel much the same? Are you aware of us now? Do you know we miss you? That though we are sad We are trying to push through? Are you back to yourself? (Well, without a body, of course) Are you nowhere to be found? Or are you back with the Source? There are very few answers And that is the stinker And since my heart still hurts I’m not ready to tinker So I feel like a child Not a theological thinker And at the moment would prefer To be a Cabernet Sauvignon drinker. Enough! (L’chaim!)   **Shloshim refers to the 30 days after the funeral when a mourner slowly expands the place within the community

Enjoy more poetry about mourning Papa (my dad, Ken Kipnes). Watch my videos about mourning Enjoy more of my spoken word poetry